Mandy McMahan

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What scares me the most

Posted by mandy mcmahan on September 24, 2010 at 2:10 PM

What is a fear? It's an emotional response to a precieved threat. Instantly a person has a feeling of anxiety and goes into a defensive state in order to protect themselves from the threat. Everybody is scared of something in life, wether it be needles, the dark, bees, relationships, heights, ect. Yes...I am scared of all of those, but none of which is my worst fear. My worst fear is not being able to do everything I want to do in life before it's too late.

 

I have seen so many people with dreams and desires and they just let them vanish into the dark or let other people stand in the way of their true fantasies. Nobody knows how long they have to do what they want. What happens if you go to sleep and never wake up? If I knew I was going to die tomorrow I would be extremely unsatisfied with what I have done in life and would regret opportunities I have passed up. Life is so short and precious these days. I have been in so many freak accidents where people have been shocked that I have made it out with minor injuries. Each time I walked away and thought nothing of it. I have been in car accidents, been pushed head first into the metro tracks, had horses fall on top of me...I just had the cat mentality that I had 9 lives and have only gone through about 4 of them so why rush? Wrong! I have seen so many of my friends pass away due to incidents just like that. Why put life on hold just because you THINK you have time?

 

Everybody runs around and has set expectations on what school to go to, what job to apply for, and how much money they should be making. Life has become so routine and planned. Why are these people's expectations out of life? Who decided that life was based on how many hours you work and what type of clothes you have in your closet...what neighborhood you live in or what car you drive? What do those things get you in life? What memorable experience can working 12 hours a day, going home, and doing it all over again get you? I know money is a factor in providing a way for people to do the things they want, but when a lot of people get the money they don't use it on experiencing life. What is the point in being overworked just to make money when you get no time to enjoy life around you. Time doesn't stop just because you are busy. The years seem shorter and shorter as time goes on. If you don't make the money it takes to accomplish major experiences, why not focus on the little things that can be free?

 

The world is so large and has so many things to offer and see. Nobody will be able to experience everything the earth posesses, but why not try? I use to stick with what was comfortable and familiar. I was okay with going through each day doing the things I did the day before, hanging out with the same people, and eating the same foods. But I sat back and realized my life was boring! It just wasn't enough....Right now I'm working at a normal job, in a normal office, and living in a normal townhouse. I feel like the time for me to really live life and enjoy it is passing by each day. I want to be able to wake up and do something I've never done before, go somewhere I've never seen, and eat foods that I have never tried before. I have recently been trying to step out more and more. Somebody once told me that I was living in the moment like it was a bad thing....but why? If you don't take advantage out of random last minuite opportunities or do things that you may never be able to do again, how are you living life to the fullest? Why not seize the chance to make a new memory that you will never forget? I thought about what this person said and realize they are wrong! People know I use to be the cautious and safe girl that pondered and analyzed situations before acting/not acting on them. Since I have left that girl behind I have experienced wonderful things that I would have never seen or done. People can lose their houses, get their car repossed, lose everything they have....but nobody can ever take away a memory or experience. Even though I have gotten a taste of what is out there, it is not even the tip of the iceburg.

 

I have so many things I want to do still, but I am scared I am never going to be able to get out of this ordinary rut I am stuck in to do them. My mind is too curious to just sit back and everyday and not be able to experience something new and wonderful. Don't get me wrong...I do love sitting on the front porch with a nice glass of wine and just relaxing, but sometimes you just have to look at the sky and wonder what else is out there. Well while sitting there wondering this I also wonder why some people get to find out while I'm sitting there daydreaming about it. Thats when I thought about the list I had made in college. I wrote down some of the things I wanted to do in life and never really looked at it again. Well the list is coming back out and I am actually going to try to act on some of the things I have down. If you don't make your dreams come true, they never will. I think people should make a point to at least attempt to do what they want while they can. Why go through life and not enjoy it.....

 

 

 My Bucket List

(things I did after making the list are in red)

 

  • travel ireland
  • swim with a dolphin
  • go skydiving
  • fall in love and not get my heart broken
  • watch the sunset in 8 different countries
  • go wine tasting in nappa valley
  • ride a horse on the beach
  • help a complete stranger in a big way
  • see the grand canyon
  • go to octoberfest in munich
  • be my own boss
  • play in the WSOP main event
  • live in a foreign country for a month or more
  • go to the Carnival parade in Brazil
  • climb a volcano
  • make a difference in somebody's life
  • drive a ferarri
  • see the eiffel tower
  • sleep under the stars with somebody special
  • start a food fight
  • learn a foreign language
  • kiss someone in the rain
  • be in a movie
  • take a road trip
  • save someones life
  • surf in hawaii
  • see machu picchu
  • tell a joke without messing it up
  • be able to say I am truely happy
  • go to the Kentucky Derby
  • Win a major poker tournament
  • learn how to really cook
  • travel through europe
  • Drive a motorcycle
  • trust a stranger
  • own a horse farm
  • witness a miracle
  • have my parents be proud of me
  • have a life long friendship
  • learn the argentine tango
  • teach someone something new
  • be able to support myself even if I don't need to
  • conquer a fear
  • have a picnic by a waterfall
  • grow old with someone
  • be able to say I did everything I wanted to do in life

 

 

 

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